


My Racket Hand Twitches

by PiousMage



Series: Fire Emblem Trans Week 2020 [2]
Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Kakusei | Fire Emblem: Awakening
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Coming Out, Gen, Supportive Cousin Lissa, Tennis, Trans!Owain, owain no matter how hard you try they're not gonna let you add a hilt to your racket
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-17
Updated: 2020-07-17
Packaged: 2021-03-05 03:21:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,543
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25337530
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PiousMage/pseuds/PiousMage
Summary: Owain finally knows who he is, but it comes at a cost. If he joins the boys tennis team, he will have to leave his cousin and doubles partner, Lissa, behind. So, she's going to be the first person he tells. And it's going to go great.
Relationships: Eudes | Owain & Liz | Lissa
Series: Fire Emblem Trans Week 2020 [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1833706
Comments: 8
Kudos: 16
Collections: Fire Emblem Trans Week 2020!





	My Racket Hand Twitches

**Author's Note:**

> CONTENT WARNINGS: 
> 
> \- Owain is misgendered in the italicized intro, and the first paragraph has some descriptions of dysphoria.
> 
> OTHER NOTES:
> 
> \- Much like my other FE:A fic, Chrom Night, the first and second generations are cousins for the purposes of this AU.

_Ylisse High School sports are in the middle of a renaissance. After several years of middling performances, the current crop of students has finally brought athletic excellence to the Exalts. Sully Redcav is both the quarterback of the state semifinalist football team and the captain of the state champion girls soccer team. Chrom Falchion managed the rare feat of hitting a grand slam and pitching a perfect game in the same game last year. Kjelle Redcav, Sully's cousin, won the state wrestling tournament after the majority of her opponents forfeited rather than face her. The team to watch this year, however, is the girls tennis team. After some growing pains last year, the team is led by star players, doubles partners, and cousins Lissa and █████ Falchion._

_\- excerpt from an Ylisse High School student newspaper clipping posted on a fridge (one name has been Sharpied out)_

* * *

Well. Today was the day. He had rehearsed this conversation in the mirror enough times to have lost count. He had spent long nights lying awake, staring up into the ceiling, trying to think about every possible outcome. She'd understand, right? She'd get it, right? It's nothing personal. Well, actually, it's extremely personal. But it's nothing against her. She's been nothing but the best cousin and doubles partner anyone could ever ask for. But remaining her doubles partner isn't worth...everything else. It isn't worth the itch whenever he hears a name that's not his, whenever he sees clothes that aren't his, whenever he sees a picture that isn't him.

No. He knows who he is. He's known for a while, but only recently has he put all the pieces together. Only recently has it felt like if he doesn't do this, if he doesn't start this new chapter of his life, this _correct_ chapter of his life, he'll scream. Well, actually, he screams already. He has a place he goes to and everything. It's in the woods behind his house, and several times in the past few weeks he's tiptoed out in the dead of night to go out there and yell, to hit trees with sticks, to try to get all this restless energy out of him. But there's always more energy. It won't start siphoning out until he actually does something about, you know, his life.

Okay. Today is the day. Tennis practice starts up soon and he _has_ to get it done before then. He hopes he'll be able to join the boys tennis team. God, just the _thought_ of it sounds cool as can be. Oh, man, and they'd announce his name too. Now serving for Ylisse High, sophomore, Owain Falchion. He started making applause sounds with his mouth. He was alone in his room. It was early in the morning on a Saturday. Today, he was going to tell his cousin that he thought--no, no, all those Internet resources had said not to say it like that, to be more confident than that--he was going to tell his cousin that he _was_ , that he _is_ , a boy. His racket hand twitched just thinking about it.

He sat up in bed. He reached for the Motorola RAZR on his nightstand. He flipped it open (why do people have phones that _don't_ flip open?) and sent a text to his cousin.

"let's get some practice in this morning. 10?"

A few minutes later came the reply.

"Okie dokie!! 😉 I'll see you then at the usual court, cuz! ⭐⭐"

He exhaled. It was now or never. His racket hand twitched.

* * *

Lissa beat him there, and her hands were on her hips as she stood next to her bag. Uh-oh. In the thousands (number approximate) of simulations that Owain had run in his head, this was not ever something that happened. Everything he had rehearsed was now forgotten and useless.

"Okay," she said calmly. "What's wrong?"

_Oh my god how did she know is she psychic what do I say what do I say what do I--_

"What's wrong?" Owain repeated, his voice cracking. Nailed it. Perfect response. Just gotta keep up the good work. "Nothing's wrong. Everything's fine. Everything's good. Good is the opposite of wrong. I think."

Lissa's hand met her forehead. "You dummy," she said in a tone that only a loving family member could hit. She took out her iPhone, pulled up her messages, and showed the phone to Owain. She pointed at the message he'd sent her that morning. "Okay, first off, you _never_ want to practice on Saturday mornings. Second off, you didn't use any exclamation points! At all! I immediately knew something was up!" She sighed, pocketing her phone again. "Third off, give me a little bit of credit. You've been kind of...not yourself lately."

"I don't know if I've ever been myself." He hadn't planned on saying that, but it sounded really cool. Really emotional. Was he looking off into the distance as he said it? Probably. Hopefully.

"Huh?" Lissa responded, tilting her head. "What does that mean?"

Owain ran a hand through his hair. Ever since he'd had it cut short over the summer, it had been one of the few things about himself that he unequivocally liked. "It means...I have something important to say."

"Then say it! Please!"

He turned away. "I don't think we can be doubles partners this season."

Lissa paled. Her voice became a bit frantic. "What? You're telling me this _now_? Why? What's wrong? Is it me? Are you quitting the team?"

Her questioning was cut short as he pulled her in for a tight hug. He had not planned to be the one consoling her, here, but she needed to know something. "It's not you. It couldn't ever be you. You're an amazing doubles partner, an amazing cousin, an amazing person. This isn't your fault."

She sniffled. Oh no, she was crying, and he hadn't even said the thing yet. This was a disaster. She patted his back. "Then...why? Why can't we play together?"

He broke the embrace. One thing that still managed to stick from his countless rehearsals and practices was that he wanted to be sure he was looking her in the eyes when he said this part. "I," he began, but his voice caught. He took a deep breath. "I want to play with the boys team this year."

Gears started to turn in Lissa's head. Owain could almost hear them squeak. "Does that mean..."

Owain nodded. "You're the first person I've told about this."

Now it was her turn to hug him. "Oh my god! Oh my god! I'm so proud of you! What the heck!" She was crying even harder, now, but she was laughing, too? That was good, probably. She pulled back and patted him on the shoulder, looking at his face. She tousled his hair. "So this was..."

"Yeah."

"And you've been so distant lately because..."

"I was figuring all this stuff out."

"Jesus! How long has this been going on?"

"For...a while?"

She smacked him on the side of the head, but it didn't hurt. It never did. "You know, you didn't have to go through all this crap alone!" She sighed, placing the same hand she'd smacked him with against his cheek. "But I can't imagine what this has been like for you. I'm so sorry."

"Hey! You don't have to apologize. Just...support me, I guess. I still have to tell my folks, and everyone at school, and," he groaned.

"Um, of course. I've always got your back, cuz!" She paused. "Oh my goodness! What do I call you?"

He smiled. This was another part he'd practiced enough times to be muscle memory by now. He struck the coolest pose he'd ever thought of. "Owain."

"That's," Lissa looked at her cousin in awe. He looked so happy, for the first time in what felt like forever. "That's unique. Just like you. I like it."

Owain relaxed, scratching the back of his head. "Thanks. I went through a lot of candidates."

Lissa nodded. "Just like your rackets. Which one did you bring this time?"

"Ballsmacker, of course. Today's a big day!"

She took her own racket out of her bag. "Well, you and Ballsmacker are going to do great for the boys this season." The fact that she was able to say "Ballsmacker" with a straight face was a testament to how often she had been forced to confront the reality of "Ballsmacker" already. "And if anyone has a problem with that," she tossed a ball up into the air and effortlessly smashed a serve that would have made pros struggle, "they'll have to go through me and Ace."

Owain smiled the biggest he had yet. "Oh snap! You finally named yours!"

"Thought now was a good moment to tell you. What do you think?"

"It could use some pizzazz, but it's a great start. You could add a title to it. Like, 'Ace, Bane of Returners,' or something."

"I'll take it into consideration, Owain."

"I can work on a few suggestions tonight and send them to you."

"That sounds great!"

"Now, and I know we've talked about this already, but we should really petition the school to let us add hilts to our rackets this year..."


End file.
